I always apologize, sympathize, feel your pain. This is who you have turned me into, sappy thoughtful agonizingly weak. I can imagine how you feel, but I can't focus on it. I have my own agenda, I have my own life waiting for me. I say things without thinking - apologies. I feel bad - without regret.

I am not sorry - This is who I am. Unforgivable, ruthless, selfish.

If I try and make this easier for you, I risk holding myself back. And honey there is no one I care for more than myself - but this is human instinct. You'd do the same if your life depended on it. These years I can't get back but the years to come are solely mine and mine alone. Freedom, how liberating.